Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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