Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
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