How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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