I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
