she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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