It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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