Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
