You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
