He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
