You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
