things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
