I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
