i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize