I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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