Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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