I swear she didn't look like that last week.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Randomize
