My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
