how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
my being single is dangerous.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
