exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
