I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
