playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
