this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Be still, my beating vagina.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Randomize
