It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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