Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
