So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
