got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
