well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize
