Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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