All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
