I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I am full of burrito and curiosity
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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