Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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