Grow some girl-balls and come out already
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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