So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
