I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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