his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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