I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
It's just like the Real World with babies
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
