Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
