I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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