Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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