it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
