the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
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