Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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