Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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