Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Randomize
