just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize