found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
