im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
