Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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