why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
