She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
The best revenge is premature balding
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
