I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
