How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
