oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
