do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
