It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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