Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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