Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
