I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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