D3 body, D1 cock
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize