I need help removing her.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
