youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Randomize
