lets start a swedish sibling band together
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
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