That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
